Knowledge as a subjective mode of being - Is knowledge a part of who I am?

I suggest to read this with the following music playing in the background: https://youtu.be/_Nbi6oJsQVQ?t=1330 ---------------------------------------------

I am sitting in the train, watching the landscape passing by, my thoughts floating around until I found myself contemplating distance. How far it actually is from Alkmaar to Leiden and how my mode of traveling influences how far it is in the experience of my mind. It doesn't feel that far when traveling by train; I see the landscape changing and I sit here for about and hour or so, so the passing time makes me aware that it is a considerable distance we are covering, but I figured that if I were to traverse this distance by means of crawling, it would feel way way further away. And for more reasons than just the longer travel time.

I then realised how the two places are completely connected, through little roads, with houses next to other houses. It is made of so many small distances, which all are a part of some peoples world of experience.

With this realization also came the realization that the knowledge of the distance between Alkmaar and Leiden is not an objective fact in my mind. It is an experience. It is a mode of being. The knowledge is not an objective thing. It is shaped by experience and has a strong subjective element to it.

What does it mean that knowledge is subjective? Or is having a subjective element to it not the same as objective? In a way it seems to be so, since we think knowledge to be something real, a concept that exists outside of us, alongside the fact that we have knowledge of something. Knowledge relates to the world in a certain way, it has an object. But then I cannot help but wonder whether anything is ultimately subjective; for that would have to mean that it has no objective reality; it does not relate to anything in the world. So I suspect subjective and objective are not differences in kind, but rather in degree. Although perhaps in theory they are different in kind, anytime we encounter them it is on a spectrum of degree.

What I meant when I said that knowledge is a mode of being, is that knowledge is a part of me, part of what I identify with (be it rightly so or not). It makes up for my lived experience. It influences how I experience the world, how I see it, how I feel it. My experience of the world might very well be unique, simply because it is shaped by countless factors, millions of little things, like the music I now listen to. I know what I write, yet how I am aware of it, how I experience it is influenced by the music. I now listen to a compilation of Ludovico Einaudi, but if I were to listen to some Bob Marley, the words I wrote down would have had a very different feeling to them, perhaps the words themselves would in fact have been different.

So knowledge stirs us. It never comes alone. It brings a whole world of feelings and thoughts with them. Knowledge in that sense is a form of being; it is part of my being, it shapes how I am. If I am and knowledge is a part of my being, and can change how I am, then knowledge itself is a form of being. And because how I am is subjective, is personal, knowledge can be said to be a subjective mode of being.